Home - is where I want to be / But I guess I'm already there /I come home -
she lifted up her wings /
Guess that this must be the place...
- Talking Heads, "Naive Melody"

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Winter Solstice, 2011

Feeling rather pensive today, standing at the brink of the new year. There are so many things I want to do, sometimes it feels overwhelming.

Not for long, usually -- I am by nature or training a planner, and when things look insane, my instinct is to break them down, to chunk them out, to find a path toward the goal. At least, I do that sometimes, with things I really care about. Other things, well... they can fall by the wayside. I am wondering if I should take a page from The Happiness Project and try a different thing every month? Something to consider during the holiday week

Generally speaking, I'm a pretty happy person, but one thing I've never been happy with (for long) is my productivity. I am often busy, but am I busy in good and useful ways? How will I look back on this time in ten years, or twenty?

I have some firm goals in mind for 2012. I will revise Fury's Flight; I will apply to writing workshops; I will take up the next book (and find a title for the dratted thing). My Christmas present from D* this year is a precious one: time to myself. I'm going to use it to take a French class in the spring. I've renewed the gym membership that lapsed while I was pregnant with Mimi.

Beyond that? Things get vague. Things get, "I'd really like... someday." I'd like to learn to can, and to quilt. Yesterday a friend gave me a book on cheesemaking, even more packed with heady possibilities than most cookbooks. I'd like to plan a monthly day trip somewhere with the kids. I'd like to actually do a 365 project. I'd like to single-handedly revive the art of letter writing, decorate my apartment, learn to dress like an adult, throw dinner parties.

Beyond vagueness, the list devolves into questions. Do I want to listen to NPR, or do I just feel guilty about not being a better informed person, and would doing something about it make me happy? Should I put more time into blogging? Am I doing enough to develop my writer's voice?

Add to list: study the art of the possible.

I have an open notebook, and a spiffy new desk calendar. Time to plan.

No comments: